The Anecdote for Living with Regret
Regrets, we all have them right? I mean they are a human response to life and living. Regrets can play an intricate part of self reflection, learning lessons and even bettering one’s life so to speak. But when regrets become a ruminating thought and play like a broken record in your mind, it is then that past regrets can become crippling because your focus on the past will begin to absorb the present time. And the thoughts of the “woulda, coulda, shouldas” will become a trap that’s hard to escape.
This steel trap can become so intense that it can negatively affect how we view ourselves and our lives in our “present” day. This is so sad to me, because this is the space we all need to avoid…the past is gone …and what you’re doing today… right now…is really what matters and that’s where your power is, it is in the present where changes can be made. The past can not be changed. Get ready, this episode is a good one.
Studies have shown that when surveyed most people admit that the regrets they obsess more on are based on regretting “what they didn’t do” more so than something that they did. The reasoning behind this is that psychologists believe that most people feel they can correct or resolve something they “did” that may have been wrong, meaning that most people feel they could “right” a “wrong” . But regretting something they “didn’t” do, these are the regrets occupying most people’s thoughts.
Regrets are part of life
Nobody can live out our lives perfectly, only Christ did this. As humans, it’s virtually impossible to be perfect, and regrets are going to happen and we can not let our regrets take over our thoughts in the present.
In a study performed by Harvard psychologists Matthew A. Killingsworth and Daniel T. Gilbert, 2200 Subjects could choose from 22 general activities, such as walking, eating, shopping, and watching television. On average, respondents reported that their minds were wandering 46.9 percent of time, and no less than 30 percent of the time during every activity except making love.
What this study shows is that mind-wandering appears ubiquitous across the board and that our mental lives are pervaded, to a remarkable degree, by the NONPRESENT.
2 of my favorite verses to meditate on when I find myself fixating on the past are these:
Matthew 11: 28-30
28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light”
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
When we are lost in negative thoughts of the past or future, we are blocked from glorifying God, which in truth is what our life is supposed to be about.
One of my other favorite verses that I use as a daily reminder for being present is this ::
“This is the day that the Lord has made we will rejoice and be glad in it.”
Learning to manage our thoughts about life, past regrets can soften with practice.
In this episode, we cover three mindfulness exercises that will give you practice and help condition your mind at being present.
- The first exercise is a walking meditation
- The second exercise is food mindfulness.
- The third exercise gratefulness journal.
Having these small moments will start conditioning your mind to take these times, and learn to be truly present. You know by now, after listening to the first three episodes that the power of our thoughts are enormously responsible for the way we are living day after day.
Just like brushing our teeth, saying our prayers, exercising >>>> training our brain is imperative to overall wellness and quality of life.
This can train your mind to continually come back to the “present” and see it thru a different lens of appreciation and awe.
When we can logically think about our feelings, we can break down the facts about those feelings, and filter the truth of our circumstances, and those involved in it which helps us compute, and alter our response to others in a healthy manner.
Once we can grapple with the facts, we can MAKE THE CHOICE of how to respond, and in tandem, what to let go of.
I hope this episode will help you get started with training your brain and moving forward from a positive mindset.
Please make sure to find The Thought Vault on Facebook and Instagram, and if you want to listen to these exercises again, go to boldpearls.com/meditations all of our christian meditations or mindful exercises are uploaded for each episode.
Until Next time, “Do Not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind… Romans 12:2, Go live with bold intention, bye for now!