A few months ago, Adam and I went to a concert. I’ve listened to this band for years during different times in my life, and was so looking forward to seeing them live when the tickets were bought. The concert was in the middle of the week, and I already expected I would be somewhat tired for the concert, especially since I would be much further along in my pregnancy by then. But that didn’t stop us from planning to go and we were excited to have a planned Date Night on the books.
The day of the concert finally arrived, and the entire day I honestly was dreading it, hem-hawing back and forth about going (fickle, right)! I was tired, didn’t feel like staying up late, it was HOT, and the venue was outside (thank goodness we were under the stage shelter). I just had every excuse in my mind of not wanting to go. It was dampening my whole mood all day, and I was contemplating how I could get out of going. When the time came to make a decision, I’ll be honest and say that the money spent and the joy Adam was still expressing about going were the only reasons I decided to stick it out. I used the caveat to Adam that if I got too tired he had to promise to bring me home even if it was before the end, he agreed…so off we went!
We grabbed a quick bite before hand, arrived at the venue, and settled in. Once I was there and in my seat, I finally started to relax and enjoy myself. I ended up loving every second of it. And in true reflective/writer fashion, I started to ponder on why I was having such a good time, what was it that was bringing me simple happiness? And then it dawned on me, I felt young again. I felt lightweight (despite being at the beginning of my third trimester, haha), the music was taking me back to college, and I wasn’t thinking about anything else.
I then realized, HELLO!, I am young! There still are many days ahead (if I’m just basing it on the normal life expectancy), and I have a lot to live. Why do I feel so old? Why can’t I feel like this more often? I don’t need to entrap myself into my “everyday role” of mom and wife. I am those things, and they take priority, BUT I’m also a young woman. A woman who loves good music, so of course the concert was fun! I don’t have to let the hum-drum of the everyday must-do’s keep me from feeling lighthearted.
Age makes us feel things, and when we are young I think it mainly is HOPE. We are hopeful thinking about our future. Everything seems possible. We are always hearing “you can do anything” “you can be anything” ” if you dream it, you can do it”…you get the picture. But time changes our perspective. Society has built “mile-markers”and “success- trackers” that weigh us down. We are always building our perspectives about ourselves on foundations of what culture has dubbed normal. We live life with the pressure of performance, living up to a fallen standard (this world is fallen), and with a skewed lens of what “making it” encompasses.
We are constantly aging, we are forever changing.
I have to admit that I am somewhat of a cynic, and I tend to see the glass half-empty. I say I’m a realist, and in true optimist fashion, Adam says “that’s what a pessimist would say” (haha, a little insight into how we are opposites!). I’ve come to terms with that about myself, but it doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with that perspective in life.
For example, I pretty much live with a constant sense of urgency. Everything in my world needs to be as efficient as possible. THERE IS NO TIME TO WASTE. Life to me seems so fleeting and the dreams, ambitions, purpose, and visions I have for myself, my life, and my family must be perpetually moving forward. Therefore, if my plans are thwarted, aren’t working the way I pictured, or I’ve lost all direction…I get completely derailed.
And for me, the broad scheme or driving force in life has been my age. By this time I should have X accomplished, by this time I should be at Y point, etc. And I have a hard time not meeting those deadlines. Planning is important, but it shouldn’t be held with white knuckles.
Especially given that I am a Christian.
I am a child of God. I shouldn’t be white-knuckling anything in life. I must be malleable, willing to go as I am called. I should be free from the burden of mapping out my life and pinpointing every decision or path chosen. I can’t possibly accomplish such a feat… don’t I know that??
I do. But it doesn’t stop my OCD nature, my need to control, or my own desires from getting in the way. I need to actually let go, and (as the saying goes) LET GOD!
So simple, but so difficult.
Age is fickle.
It causes us to question where we are presently. It steals the opportunities to live like we should be in those very moments that do impact our future. We can’t say we have faith that God is working in our life without praying, relying on Him, and obeying! Age doesn’t have any weight on what our purpose is. Some people come to Christ in their final moments on Earth and make the greatest impact on a by standing soul at that final moment than in their entire life prior! We don’t know our purpose specific to how our life will turn out. But what we do know is the most important thing to know…if we believe in Him, we must share that truth with anyone who will listen. That is our purpose. That’s what we must do. Share His love.
It isn’t up to us to make an impact, it’s only up to us to FOLLOW AND OBEY! That is our purpose. Love Christ, focus on Him alone, and OBEY HIS CALLING ON OUR HEART!
That’s it. That’s all there is….
Don’t let society tell you that you’re not successful, that you don’t have anything to offer, or that you don’t have anything to show for yourself. The freedom is that we know it isn’t even about us! We can live in joy knowing that as long as we are focused on Him, we are doing it. We are succeeding at life. When we unabashedly follow God, He can use us. He can accomplish the purpose He had for us the moment we took that first breath, and that’s our calling.
ANYTHING is possible AT ANYTIME because Christ has no limits. Age is absolutely JUST A NUMBER. It does not define who we are or where we should be.
We shouldn’t be anywhere but with Him.
Let that sink in.
What have you been focusing on? What have you been striving for?
You have a purpose, have you been fulfilling it?
Is He at the center?
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