So from my recent post, I received feedback and questions about dealing with isolation in those roles. And I definitely wanted to respond because that is absolutely one of the effects labels can place on us. We begin to associate those roles/labels as our sole identity and the rest of us begins to fade. We push ourselves to live to a social standard, and therefore, the most unique aspects of our personalities slowly grow obsolete.
Why is this a problem? Well, because the things that used to fuel our creativity, humor, passions, and ingenuity are dummied down to fit into a box or an expectation. The boxes and expectations come from the comparisons and pressures from seeing all the good parts of so many other people. It’s a struggle that rears it’s ugly head when we are at our most vulnerable times. Hence, why we can’t seem to look past our faults and failures.
All of that forces us into isolation. We feel alone when outwardly it would appear that we have more support than we need. I know I’ve heard women say that they feel so alone despite being married, having multiple kids, having a career….aspects that would logically lead to the conclusion, “how can I feel alone when I’m surrounded by so many people?”. The truth is that the loneliness comes from lack of real connection.
We can’t actually connect with people because we have an appearance to uphold. This leads to finding ourselves feeling less than, and manifests into our minds as a weakness, And we don’t/can’t show weakness < THIS IS THE PROBLEM.
We become isolated. We can’t show or open up to what is on our hearts. I think in a time where there is a diagnosis for everything, there are stigmas for everything. If you’re emotional or feel annoyed with your children, you could suffer from postpartum depression. If you are worried about something so much that it brings you to tears when talking about it, you have an anxiety disorder. If you and your spouse are not getting along and can’t communicate appropriately, one of you could have attention deficit disorder. Everything has a bad connotation. Even the word “diagnosis” insinuates that there is something wrong with you, something not “right”.
This isolation can occur in our most intimate relationships like the one with our spouses. We are too busy, too exhausted, and too over stimulated from our days to unwind and spend quality time with each other. It’s a cycle that builds up its own force that repels us from each other. When we don’t communicate, we ultimately don’t have a healthy relationship and our connections to each other begin to fade.
Couple communication issues and having a diagnostic word for ALL THE THINGS, we tend to stop sharing. Those things exists but it doesn’t mean you are less than. The truth is that we are emotional beings. WE ALL HAVE EMOTIONS. And the real real truth is that WE ARE ALL DYSFUNCTIONAL. I would venture to say that if we all went to see a clinical psychiatrist, we could be diagnosed with something.
There is no box to fit in. It’s important that we realize we can create our own version of the roles we have. The most important “thing” to make priority in life is having connection. The main connection being with Christ. His love and care for each of us, builds a solid foundation for us to love others. Making time with Christ through prayer and reading His word establishes the validity in ourselves and the perspectives we have each day to face what comes our way. Having a healthy relationship with the Lord brings life to us that can be used to connect with those that we encounter daily. We have to carve out the space and time to have quality interactions with little distractions. Having that recharge of listening and conversing, impacts our mindset and attitude in so many ways! Don’t put off quality time with Christ and loved ones.
Isolation can take many forms, and that’s why it’s important to have good balance. Make sure your hobbies and passions make it into your calendar. Each of us are made uniquely, and the skills and talents and enjoyments we each have play a role in who we are. It’s imperative to work those into our life REGULARLY!
I hope this gave you all some food for thought. Please leave feedback and suggestions on how you manage life. We can all use tips and tricks to living a life that is more fulfilling.
Click here to get a FREE tip sheet to live a more balanced life. The third thing is a non-negotiable for me!
And if you haven’t already, make sure you join the String of Bold Pearls closed group. I recently did a live chat about this exact topic, and you can catch the replay there!