To my best friend, companion, and ride-or-die soul mate:
I love you!! Our relationship as we know it is coming to a HUGE crossroad! We are about to embark on a journey that will literally change the rest of our lives until we depart from this world. I can’t explain the changes I’ve been through physically and mentally over the last 9 months. It’s been surreal experiencing the growth of our son, the changes my body has endured, and the mental/spiritual marathon I’ve tried to rationalize. God’s presence and His softening of my soul has really impacted my perspective of life. Reflecting on the last 15 years with you brings me so much joy. How grateful I am to God for bringing you into my life.
I can’t wait to see you hold our baby in your arms. I can’t think of anything that will change my life more. The other night you looked at me with adoration and said “It’s just so amazing to me that we are one according to God, but he (our son) is truly that “one” in actuality. He is “us” in one.” That was one of the most precious thoughts you’ve ever shared with me and I won’t forget it. You were pointing out that this child is literally the love within each of us given by God created into a life. The gravity of that blows my mind (and heart)!
As we approach this uncharted territory (especially the labor and delivery…ahh!) I want you to know some things….
As we have worked to put God first in our marriage, I understand that we MUST put God first in becoming a family. There is no way we can raise a child without the presence of Christ guiding us. I promise to always seek God first in my day, that I may have a better perspective to guide my thoughts and actions towards caring for you and our child.
Apart from Christ, you are my first love. Although my heart will grow and stand at attention towards our son’s needs, you will always be before him. I pray to always put you first and to give you the attention you deserve. For us to function as a joyful family, WE must be healthy first. I can’t be a good mother, if I’m not first a good wife. My hope is to always make sure you feel loved.
I’m not naive. Soon there will be days I won’t have time or energy to even change out of my PJ’s, much less cuddle on the couch to watch our favorite shows. I may not ask how your day was or even care to talk. I may fall asleep as soon as you get home and not even think to have any food in the house for dinner. There may be times I curse you and tell you how I’m “doing it all on my own and you never help me!”….but please know that I love you. And although I may say words out of frustration ( and sleep deprivation), my heart is thankful for you and the life you’ve provided for us, always!
I know there will be times we will face what seems like insurmountable stress on our relationship. Our lives will be a balancing act of work, family, church, and friends. But I hope to not fall victim to the commonly used metaphor of “two ships passing in the night”. I don’t ever want to pass you and stop recognizing who we actually are to each other. My worst fear is that our lives become child-centric and we can’t relate to one another any more. I pray that we work to be God-centric and I have faith that if we can accomplish this, the rest will fall into place.
I’m so grateful for ALL THE TIME we have had together prior to “baby-mode”, coming up on 15 years at our age is such a blessing! We’ve been so much to each others life and I want you to know that YOU are still just as important to me.
Although things will be different ( I mean its inevitable!), it’s going to be good. We will grow together and individually in ways we’ve never experienced. It’s my prayer that our hearts will be even more engaged to the Lord’s will, and that we will rely on each other instead of resent.
I promise to help you keep reaching your dreams, and supporting you if you change them. I’m focused on keeping you priority and when times don’t show evidence of that…I pray you give me grace and understanding. Ultimately, I love you and you must know just how much (which I could never find enough words to describe). Our son will soon be here, and although I feel like I can literally burst with pure joy thinking of simply seeing him for the first time….you must know that my heart fills the same when I see you too.
Adam, I love you and I can’t wait to love our son together.