“Here babe, let me…”
A phrase I often hear from Adam when I’m struggling. It could be from picking up a huge armful of laundry to taking Lilly (our fur baby) out to potty when he knows I’m tired, to building me something I “desperately” need for the house. He is there for me, and there are times I completely forget that. Work days are long, house chores are incessant, errands are constant, obligations are continual…and that’s life. And somewhere during all of that, your marriage must exist.
I’m currently reading a personal study by Francis and Lisa Chan (love them!) called You and Me. Some of the points so far have really made me take the time to study what the Bible says about marriage. Something that severely struck my heart was understanding that our marriages should be a force to help our spouses stand before Christ proudly. Picturing the love Adam has for Christ and how he will feel when he is finally standing before our Creator should give me such satisfaction and HUGE motivation. I’m here, and our marriage exists, so that he can have a deeper connection to Christ.
This doesn’t mean that our marriage should be perfect. It more points to the fact that I should be motivated in my interactions with Adam by understanding that I affect his walk with Christ. My relationship with Adam (our marriage) should be a mirror image of my relationship with God, and I’ve been VERY convicted by this truth.
As Christians, we are to be an example to those in our lives and our communities. If half of us give up on our marriages, wouldn’t it make sense that non-believers would think that God gives up too? If our lives are to be lights to the world, what are we illuminating? Is it that our flesh is always stronger than our faith? This isn’t a good example of God’s love. And I was reminded immediately proceeding an argument Adam and I had earlier this week that I was not living up to that responsibility.
When you actually put into perspective what it really means when someone else hurts your feelings….it’s truly eye-opening because it more than likely will point to your flesh. Meaning, your feelings were hurt based on a selfish reason. Looking at it this way takes practice (nobody likes to see their own faults), but is soo worth it in the long run. In Romans 8, specifically 8:5-11, profound truth in how we are to live is shared with us.
“… For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law…Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.”
Wow, that speaks a lot to me. And here’s the thing…”flesh” isn’t just referring to “bad things”, it’s referring to anything that is taking away from your relationship with Christ. It could be that your volunteering too much or baking really delicious cakes to give to people in all your spare time (we all know that’s NOT me, hehehe). I’m just pointing out that you could be a “good” person, or have a “good” marriage but if your relationship/time is not exemplifying Christ… it is worthless.
It is extremely humbling to think about my presence in Adam’s life affecting his walk with Christ. I love him so much, but Christ loves him even more. Picturing God calling Adam His good and faithful servant as he stands in front of our Father makes me want to be the most helpful and loving wife I can be. Christ deserves all my best, and He too is always there to say “Let me”…