SAHM, WAHM, WAFHM…..WTH???
I’m sure if you’ve been around, you’ve seen all of these acronyms.
STAY AT HOME MOM
WORK AT HOME MOM
WORK AWAY FROM HOME MOM
WHAT THE HEAVEN?! (see what I did there) These are just labels, and some are seen as affirmations. All they really mean is that WE ARE MOMS! And like it’s ever been any different….Moms wear many hats. We all feel we need a title because we all have to handle a lot of stuff. For whatever reason, these acronyms give us approval for our lives, but I think there is a bigger picture here.
We don’t have to have a title. We are all getting up everyday and working through our endless tasks. We are doing life. There doesn’t have to be a title to give us validation. Moms work hard. We don’t have to prove it to anyone or give it as an excuse. The main thing is….are you doing your best?
If you’re doing your best, that’s really all that matters. We shouldn’t require extra understanding from bystanders. Each of us live in our own circumstance. Our lives don’t have to mirror someone else’s to be beautiful. Comparison doesn’t have to be a measuring tool to indicate if we are good Moms or not.
All of these labels come with a lists of pros vs cons. No matter which category you fall under, you can live out the best version of that journey in the midst of it. On top of the pressure we place on ourselves, we feel the pressure from everyone else. And with social media, the comparison game can reach very far (like the other side of the world) and wide.
As Moms, we are often times the Grunts. I don’t say this in a victimized OR stigmatized manner. Just acknowledging that we tend to bear the burden of ALL TYPES OF RESPONSIBILITIES. The adage of “we’re the glue…” comes to mind, and while this isn’t a bad thing…it can lead to bad feelings.
We can become so consumed with living up to an ever-rising standard, that we remove ourselves from the equation entirely and simply focus on the image of what we believe we should be. This image includes how our entire family appears too. And that is where it begins to take on a whole new portrayal.
We can’t sustain the level of work it all takes. And harder feelings like resentment, bitterness, and jealousy begin to seep in. They seep into our thoughts, our relationships, and our ability to “perform”. Ultimately, building up the inability to do our best. Our actual best, like being a good wife, mother, daughter, friend, colleague, church member…and eventually lover of Christ.
Our daily lives become askew with expectations, limitations, and forcing ourselves through rather than enjoying the chance we’ve been given to see the sun rise and set one more time. The chance to shower our children with love, give them some wisdom, make them laugh, and squeeze their guts out with those full body hugs. The chance to look at those significant in our lives (for me, that’s my husband) with adoration for who they are and what makes them our person for life, to appreciate what they do bring to the table, and to feel the security of knowing God placed them there with us for a greater purpose.
Labels can make people cray cray. They can pigeon-hole us to a set of guidelines that don’t feel natural. They can take away our joy, and thwart our abilities to see the goodness all around. Labels don’t have a place in families. Kids are kids. Dads are Dads. Moms are Moms.
The best we can do is our best. Our best for the individual circumstances each of us are in, without comparison.
It feels good to take off the label, and it feels even better to know we can be ourselves. We don’t adhere to a set of rules. We can make our own. Our life can look like nobody else’s and that’s perfectly PERFECT!
There is no shame in Mom Game!
Be who you are and don’t knock out the parts that “don’t fit”. God created us all separately. Understanding our own unique sets of skills and talents brings out the best in ourselves and the people we love so dearly. Don’t feel compelled to live according to an arbitrary social norm. Forge your own path.
Use those Mom instincts to help your family flourish in it’s own special way!
I say WTH?! Bring it on!
Do you struggle with a particular “Mom thing” that is causing you grief, worry, or stress? Or do you have a great piece of advice or wisdom to bestow on the rest of us? Please share your thoughts with us below!
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