I have entered my THIRD TRIMESTER ladies! It’s a little freaky to think that I have gotten to this point. When I found out I was pregnant, time was on my side to “ready” myself. It’s FLOWN by and is majorly the topic of all convos between Adam and I. We have this complete concoction of emotions that’s just lingering around at all times…..somewhere between anxiousness, pure joy, pure love, pure excitement, fear, nervousness, anticipation, and wide-eyed abandon. Becoming parents is a crazy (somehow silly) road! We literally just laugh when we think about our lives so far; all the time we’ve known each other, all the things we thought we’d be, all the things we know we are (and may want to change), and all our hopes and dreams.
What a rollercoaster!!! It’s been surreal and my fear of forgetting all that I’m experiencing hits in waves. Constantly I’m thinking “should I document this somehow?”. I just want to capture all that we are feeling and sharing and doing to have forever. I cherish reflection, and for me, I think life is made up of reflecting on the past, hoping for the future, WHILE being IN the present. What’s the point of living if you can’t grow from what’s happened?
My post last week came at a perfectly odd time for me. It pushed me to more fully develop my feelings of what had been rolling around in my head for weeks. What was I really feeling about becoming a mother? There is SO MUCH CHANGE happening right now! I’ve been an “adult” for a while now, but something about becoming a parent makes that actually TRUE! Adam and I laugh a lot thinking that although we know we’ve changed since we’ve met and have grown wiser, we still feel like the same people…although admittedly a little more jaded from the realities of real life. Going through losing a component of my childhood family unit made me and the rest of my family reflect on how much has changed and will still change. Relying on our parents and siblings has always been such a large part of our stability in life…..now Adam and I are becoming that same foundation for our son. Intense!
As I’ve mentioned, “Baby Prepping” is a whole thing and a lot of it is mainly material. But I’ve personally felt that the largest part of “Baby Prepping” is prepping my heart, spirit, and mind. I could NEVER go into parenthood without Christ! My Savior, thank you for being there!! I have NO clue how unbelievers can ready themselves for bringing children into the world. The strength Christ has given to me when I just feel like flailing on the ground while screaming “AM I READY FOR THIS?!”, is so much stronger than my doubts. HE has given me the wisdom, peace, and ability to handle all of this. Knowing that ultimately God is in control gives me such JOY!!!
My fears of being a crumby mom, not knowing enough, being too selfish for this journey, and simply not being prepared is sedated with the knowledge that I’m not doing this alone. Number one, I have Christ and number two, I have Adam. God knew what He was doing when He brought us together. And this precious child is who God wants Adam and I to raise. I don’t have to be prepared for ALL THE THINGS because I could never withhold the power to know it all. BUT GOD DOES!!! My faith is not in Adam and I because our capabilities WILL FALL SHORT, but God will be there to rise above and help us along the way. What we lack, He has in abundance.
Follow Him. Focus on Him. Make Him the starting point each day, for everything. That’s my goal.
Our son and God’s child is coming into the world. God created an opportunity for me to live out The Great Commission every single day, and that’s to show Christ to my son always and that’s really what it boils down to….
And being prepared for that…I think I can do. There will be times that I’m not so “Biblical” and hopefully we will have taught him about grace by then :)! We are ALL continually growing, and I’m sure our son will teach us so much more about Christ…and I truly can’t wait for that.
God is good!!! And how blessed I am to know Him, how grateful I am to have His spirit with me always! I’m holding on for dear life, but aren’t we all?
How has God interceded for you during times of upheaval? Share what you’ve learned from surrendering it all to Him.