This topic is critical to me because I know I’ve struggled with living my best life. Sounds funny, I know, but here’s the deal > if you’re reading this >> you should be living the best day of your life! Why?! Well, time isn’t promised and we can’t simply take for granted the time we’ve been given.
Life is hard, arduous, and busy! I know that I get easily overwhelmed with responsibilities, mundane tasks, and the unwelcome reality of not accomplishing goals/dreams/ambitions that pull at my heart. As a mom, I’ve found that I have the pull and push of balancing my own life with my children’s. It’s been especially challenging at this particular stage in my life because I’m trying to get off “go!” with certain things, and my children are too (like every.single.day. they are learning something new)!
I’ve really had to come to grips with what it is I want out of life at this moment with what can reasonably be expected. It’s been hard. I’ve often found myself in tears at the end of the day for both myself and that inevitable, mom guilt. It’s not the best feeling, and sometimes I wallow in not feeling up to par.
This last year with two littles and changes in my work schedule, I kept finding myself in that sullen state. Turning 30 was not easy for me. Something about a new decade just casts me into a whole new element of driven focus to DO THE THINGS I MUST DO! I’ve had callings on my heart that I can not shake. Some have been there my entire life, like running a non-profit Christ driven mission foundation and speaking publicly to encourage people, and others have been discovered through endless prayers and passions that have developed from my God-given skills and passions (i.e. this blog, my Young Living business, and other projects I’ve started but haven’t launched).
And on a completely other level, there are parts of me I don’t like. I don’t have a lot of patience, I’m a control freak, and I can be quick tempered just to name a few.
I had to do something to help myself live my life, and start taking the actions to BE DIFFERENT and put the effort into what really fuels me and my family.
Morning Makeover Commence!
- Quiet time
- Planner input
These three things I need to do in the morning to start my day. I’m an introvert so quiet time is CRITICAL to my life, and it’s dedicated time to focus on God and spend time in prayer. Exercise has been a driving force in my life simply because I’ve been able to manage my anxiety and depression through working out and diet. And using a planner is IMPERATIVE! I like to see the layout for my week/month. Daily, I do well with a To-DO list because I can’t stick to a stringent time frame especially with being a SAHM (stay at home mom) and a WAHM (work at home mom).
Pick your non-negotiables and STICK TO THEM! Get up early, stay up late, or schedule your day specifically to include ALL OF THEM! You cannot repeat the same old behaviors and just think change into existence >> YOU HAVE TO DO THE DANG THING! #noexcuses
This is a HARD topic for me. One, because if you know me, I could arguably be the most private person you’ve met. The only positive to this personality trait is that I’m a steel trap when it come to secret keeping 😉 , BUT it majorly wreaks havoc on my ability to open up and let walls stay down to others.
GET OVER IT! >> This is what I have to tell myself, and maybe you, like me, need to say the same thing. Accountability works. That’s why there is an entire industry dedicated to helping “coach” people through life. Goals are much more attainable when we feel obligated to follow through. It’s an incredible power in maintaining motivation.
Whether you’re wanting to hit a business goal, manage your home better, or overcome a habit >> goal setting + accountability are POWERFUL!
Setting goals can be a challenge if they aren’t formed in the right way. Some goals can even set you up for failure if you aren’t mindful.
1 – Set S.M.A.R.T. goals
S Specific: goals need to have precise expectations (i.e. I will lose 15 pounds, not I want to lose some weight.)
M Measurable: there must be a way to measure progress ( I can track my weight by getting on a scale.)
A Attainable: realistic expectations are KEY! Goals need to be challenging, but feasible. ( I can’t lose 50 pounds if I weigh 100 > that would be ludacris.)
T Time Sensitive: deadlines are a must. Goals can’t be met with ambiguous endings. Procrastination is natural, and you’ll never make progress if there is no intention for accomplishment.
2 – Tell Somebody!
It’s okay to share your goals/hopes/dreams with others. There is vulnerability in sharing, BUT I promise it’s SO WORTH IT! Christ designed us to work better together. That’s why marriage is such a wonderful gift. When we share, we are giving that person the gift of showing up for us and offering to us what we couldn’t have had if we didn’t share with them > love and friendship.
Maybe there are goals that you don’t want to open up about just yet, or maybe it’s personal in a way that needs to be safe-guarded, but you can still share! Instead of giving them all the details, you can say something like >>
There are things that I’m really trying to change about myself. I don’t believe I’m ready to share the details, but I would really be thankful if you could check-in with me next month on the 15th (be specific!) to ask how I’m doing with accomplishing my goal.
When someone loves you, they don’t need all the details to be there for you! I know that if any of my friends said something like that to me, you better believe I would feel honored and sincere about helping them by being there in the specific way they asked.
Attitude of Gratitude
Stinkin’ thinkin’ breeds more stinkin’ thinkin’! I don’t know about you, but I can get into a dark cycle of pessimism. It doesn’t take much to keep me there either >> sad songs, dramatic tv shows, and social media are huge culprits in stealing my joy. When I’m depressed, it’s easy to see, feel, and listen to negativity.
I’ve struggled my entire life with depression, anxiety, and OCD. There are many ways to manage these and I’ve found for myself that I am able to mitigate the “dark takeover” (my coined phrase for describing those times in my life) when I’m vigilant about what’s coming in.
Remove the triggers! Filter the good from the bad and give yourself the chance to see the positives in life. Don’t listen to the depressing music, turn off the TV, and get off social media where comparison and jealousy reign. There is ALWAYS at least one thing that is going right for everyone, and focusing on that can bring loads of relief and gratitude, which can change your mood on a dime.
To add, part of coping with those struggles for me has been practiced appreciation, which I can easily come to when I’m praying and regularly reading the Bible. Hence, why quiet time is a non-negotiable for me. I spend a lot of time praying throughout my day. It’s not always “reverent”, and at times it’s in the middle of disciplining my babies (haha), but it doesn’t matter because God doesn’t care. He only wants to know that I need Him and that I know that I do. When I spend time in prayer and in the Word, I have a much more REAL perspective on what’s of significance and consequence.
Side note: I love planners that incorporate an area for reflection each day/week/month because it forces thinking over the important things in life and pushing out the nonsense.
Like it’s been said before >> there will always be people with more than you, AND less than you. Get real perspective, it will bless you!
All of these components help me to live my best life. Non-negotiables, goal setting + accountability, and a positive attitude make all the difference!
Time is precious. Don’t put off those dreams, don’t wallow in the dark…don’t let the minutes tick by with no purpose. You have the power of choice >> so choose to LIVE!