Working is something we all have to do if we want to survive. It takes up the majority of our life…so DON’T WASTE IT! When I graduated college, I was utterly lost…not the accomplishment I really anticipated when I hit that milestone. I remember when I was young, thinking “Wow, what will it be like to go to high school one day?” “What will it be like to drive?” “College will be soo amazing!”….I was a manic day-dreamer. I loved thinking about what I would be doing with my life. I had plans to live in New York City, and become a “doctor that delivered babies”. I had huge plans people!
BUT when I finally reached college, I had no clue what I wanted to major in or how to plan for the rest of my life. I realized this was the beginning of the rest of my life…and I panicked. And then I prayed non-stop because I was scared, nervous, and confused. I realized I had about two years to figure it out because I had to get general ed finished anyway. When I stumbled on Health Care Management, BINGO!
I prayed for Christ to open pathways for me to take. As soon as I graduated, I felt pressure. Urgency to have it all figured out. And like accomplishing undergrad wasn’t enough, I had already been accepted to graduate school and planned on pursuing my MBA. I had planned on landing my dream job and completing my graduate degree at the same time. I was engaged and knew that I was going to be a wife, but what about the other parts of my life? School, check…now time to find the perfect job. In my obsessive, micro-managing nature, I had to make sure everything worked out. I spent so much time worrying, praying, and repeating.
Finally a door opened I felt was perfect, I was elated…it was all coming together (just in time for the wedding). After months at that job, I began to realize my worst fear. I was MISERABLE! I would cry everyday on my way to work, the job I thought made perfect sense “on paper” was NOT perfect for me. And in my worrisome nature, I began to manifest this complex that something was extremely wrong with me. I just felt like I was failing at life even though it had really just began. I can’t handle feeling like I can’t put my finger on what’s going to play out. The anxiousness was unbelievable. I put so much undue pressure on myself that I couldn’t fathom that there could be an end to the suffering. And so I spent endless time praying to deal with it and yes, crying. It took time to land where I’m at now (which I talked about more here). And my takeaway was that relying on Christ’s timing was ultimately the ONLY plan worth leaning on.
When I FINALLY gave in and was patient for His will in my life….I gained the ultimate freedom of clarity. Clarity that I didn’t have to have everything perfectly placed in a beautifully wrapped box.
Take the time to discover yourself. If you need to get a job that pays the bills, do it knowing that you are prayerfully seeking/waiting for God’s will. As the old saying goes “don’t try to fit a square peg in a round hole”. Take the time to weed through your passions, the skills you have, and enjoyment you receive from being a part of something. Whether people tell you or not, the culture of your workplace will begin to change you…how do you want to be changed?
When I relinquished control of my work future, I was finally at peace. It wasn’t easy, and when I would feel those consuming thoughts I would cry out to my Father. Christ knew all of my tears, and He saw me through. The time was grueling, but looking back, I can see that God was pruning me and giving me the perspective to understand what I now can about myself. He finally placed me where I need to be, and I’m super excited about future opportunities. I’m not stuck feeling lost and defeated.
Work is just one facet of where God is in your life. When anxiety, fear, worry, and depressive emotion tries to consume your thoughts, rebuke it. Satan wants to ignite doubt into your life, but Christ’s blood is stronger. There is no magic formula, and I’m not saying that God will answer right away. BUT, He is always working in your life. Timing is something we must understand is not in our control. Be present and stay focused on each day that you face in the morning! Whatever you may be going through, He will see it until the end. There were days I physically became ill from my anxiety. At night I would cry myself to sleep because I didn’t want to face another day at that job. I wanted to be done with that place, and I wanted an immediate answer. And that is the lesson, work through the emotion (DON’T stuff it down), and make sure in those dark times that you pray. And don’t be afraid to pray for patience!!